[Wow, what could this mean? This has totally never happened before. There's no doubt in Kouhei's mind that Baren is already on his way over, so instead of texting back, he just waits until his phone vibrates to indicate that someone is at his door (thanks, fancy doorbell systems) and opens the door with a slightly furrowed brow.
That sure is Baren, alright. And Kouhei wastes no time signing:]
[When Baren arrives, there sure is a tanuki on his shoulder and a bag tucked under his arm. Does he bring the same bag every time he comes to stay over at Kouhei's? Very possible. But regardless he laughs, apparently still in high spirits. He signs even as he talks with both hands, but as he slips off his shoes to be polite, he'll just switch to signing with one.
It's all too natural for him.]
Oh - no, we're not arguing if that's what you think. I just wanted to stop by.
[Well, the fact that there doesn't seem to have been an argument is definitely a good thing, as is the fact that Baren's smiling so brightly. Kouhei's expression relaxes just a bit, but just like clockwork, surprise is quick to replace it.]
That's good, at least. But a question you couldn't text me about?
[Stepping aside to let Baren through the door, he tilts his head slightly to the side to indicate that he's perplexed.]
But he'll just keep signing - assume for the rest of this thread that even as Baren is wandering around, he's signing. He wanders in like this is his second home, walking backwards familiarly through the hall as he faces Kouhei.]
My question though - have you been having weird dreams lately?
[Oh, cute.... That's enough to get a small smile out of him, but it's gone soon enough as Baren continues, and Kouhei closes the door behind them before following him down the front hall.]
So you've had them too.
[It isn't a question, and his expression falls with a small sigh.]
[ . . . hmmm bad. Baren tilts his head even as he reaches out to place his pointer finger underneath Kouhei's chin and gently lift it upward with a smile.
Then he'll return to signing.]
Chin up!
... even if they're bad dreams, I didn't mean for this to be a bad conversation.
[Oh no, that's unexpected... but equally sweet, and Kouhei can't help but smile just a touch sheepishly in turn. Leave it to Baren to make him go through an emotional roulette in maybe ten seconds. (And embarrass him just slightly, though he should really be used to this by now.)]
Thanks. It's not really a bad thing, but it's hard to explain the sensation of having dreams where I can hear. Partially or fully.
[Ah, there's that smile. Kouhei furrows his brow just slightly, but doesn't make any move to press the subject.]
I won't make you share anything you aren't comfortable with, but if you want to talk about it, I'll listen.
They're... not as depressing as they should be, probably. It's just strange to have dreams as vivid as my memories. Some are still about Taichi, and some aren't.
Yeah, there's no doubt that it's me. There are small changes in some, like if I'm happier and more confident or more withdrawn than I am now. But nothing drastic.
[But if Baren is asking, then....]
Since this has to be Retrospec's doing, though, it wouldn't surprise me if a lot of people have different personalities or appearances in their dreams. It might be linked to our memories.
Not that I'm not happy now, of course. I can't remember the last time I've been this happy. [And he hesitates just slightly, briefly glancing away before smiling a touch sheepishly.] It's the dreams where I never lost my hearing. So I never had to go through any hardships, I guess.
[As before, he discusses it almost too easily. But that's enough of that, though, as Baren continues with that unconvincing laugh. Even if he can't express it in so many words, Kouhei's concern is clear on his face.]
The you in your dreams? [And another pause.] I don't think it's selfish to worry about that. If you're anything like yourself, I'm sure we'd still be friends. It's still you, isn't it?
[Baren opens his mouth and seems to get ready to sign something - and then he makes a face and seems to think better of it. He tilts his head, tries to consider this....]
I'm trying to figure out how to say it.
[ . . . .
Is it really him that he sees?
Because the reactions are pretty extreme, as far as he remembers. Baren likes to party, he likes to do dumb things, he likes to have fun and push safety to the limit but - ]
[....Alright, then. Baren is definitely unique, and Kouhei's gotten his fare share of dumb texts and stories of stupid things Baren's done that make him shake his head, but this? Yeah, he's furrowing his brow for a third time.]
[But his brow furrows and he takes a second before shaking his head. One hand runs through his hair for a second before he continues signing.]
No, uh...
I mean - maybe it was on purpose, but I just saw myself shove my hands into a fire to reach for something. I think it's the cloak that I have in some of my memories... but I don't know why I tossed it in there in the first place.
[It's definitely strange, but Kouhei's confusion likely comes across on his face. Reaching into a fire isn't normal, of course, but there must have been some sort of reason for it. Does it bother Baren that much?]
The only thing I can think of is that maybe your dream self was immune to fire somehow. Like if there was a magic spell, or it could have been a fire that didn't harm people.
But on the other hand, if it's just a dream, normal logic doesn't really apply. Could it have symbolized something?
... I don't know - I get glimpses of others. It's a lot of similar stuff that I've done up to now actually... but there's always scars on my hands. Right up to my elbows -
[Right to where the fire could've licked if he reached in. There's a look of frustration on his face.]
But that would only work out if it means I was really dumb enough to reach into a real fire.
No one was even around... like I'd gone off on my own to do something really stupid.
[Baren offers up a smile at that, shaking his head.]
... just weird, you know? To get visions of a life like this one - but kinda different? I dunno. Chuu got one where I broke up with him without an explanation a few nights ago, too.
Sounds like I really might've been an idiot in the metaphor.
Is it similar to the feeling you get when you think about your memories? Similar but different. Though yours is much different from mine.
[At this rate, Kouhei's brow is never going to be anything but slightly furrowed. A breakup dream sounds like a pretty normal dream, but more than anything, it has Kouhei wondering about what this "dream Baren" is like.]
Was the version of you in his dream similar to the one you saw in yours? Or was it just your normal self?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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That sure is Baren, alright. And Kouhei wastes no time signing:]
What happened this time?
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It's all too natural for him.]
Oh - no, we're not arguing if that's what you think. I just wanted to stop by.
[ . . . well. He seems thoughtful for a moment.]
... and maybe ask you a question?
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That's good, at least. But a question you couldn't text me about?
[Stepping aside to let Baren through the door, he tilts his head slightly to the side to indicate that he's perplexed.]
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[NO HESITATION.
But he'll just keep signing - assume for the rest of this thread that even as Baren is wandering around, he's signing. He wanders in like this is his second home, walking backwards familiarly through the hall as he faces Kouhei.]
My question though - have you been having weird dreams lately?
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So you've had them too.
[It isn't a question, and his expression falls with a small sigh.]
I wake up sweating every time I have one.
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Then he'll return to signing.]
Chin up!
... even if they're bad dreams, I didn't mean for this to be a bad conversation.
You okay?
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Thanks. It's not really a bad thing, but it's hard to explain the sensation of having dreams where I can hear. Partially or fully.
I'd rather hear about your dreams, though.
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And he offers up a pinched smile.]
... I don't know if you do.... they haven't been that great.
Yours seem kind of nicer....? How do you feel about it?
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I won't make you share anything you aren't comfortable with, but if you want to talk about it, I'll listen.
They're... not as depressing as they should be, probably. It's just strange to have dreams as vivid as my memories. Some are still about Taichi, and some aren't.
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But... you're still you in them, right?
Like - your behavior doesn't change, or whatever.
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[But if Baren is asking, then....]
Since this has to be Retrospec's doing, though, it wouldn't surprise me if a lot of people have different personalities or appearances in their dreams. It might be linked to our memories.
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[He gets stuck on that, tilting his head. What can he do to make Kouhei happier....?
But - at the next bit, Baren laughs - even if the smile doesn't quite reach his visible eye after.]
... yeah, well. I'm not sure you'd like the me that I see in the dreams. So I guess that's why I'm asking... kinda selfish of me, isn't it?
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[As before, he discusses it almost too easily. But that's enough of that, though, as Baren continues with that unconvincing laugh. Even if he can't express it in so many words, Kouhei's concern is clear on his face.]
The you in your dreams? [And another pause.] I don't think it's selfish to worry about that. If you're anything like yourself, I'm sure we'd still be friends. It's still you, isn't it?
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I'm trying to figure out how to say it.
[ . . . .
Is it really him that he sees?
Because the reactions are pretty extreme, as far as he remembers. Baren likes to party, he likes to do dumb things, he likes to have fun and push safety to the limit but - ]
... I think I set myself on fire?
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On purpose?
That's a little more extreme than you usually go.
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[But his brow furrows and he takes a second before shaking his head. One hand runs through his hair for a second before he continues signing.]
No, uh...
I mean - maybe it was on purpose, but I just saw myself shove my hands into a fire to reach for something. I think it's the cloak that I have in some of my memories... but I don't know why I tossed it in there in the first place.
I don't get it. Was that really me?
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The only thing I can think of is that maybe your dream self was immune to fire somehow. Like if there was a magic spell, or it could have been a fire that didn't harm people.
But on the other hand, if it's just a dream, normal logic doesn't really apply. Could it have symbolized something?
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[Right to where the fire could've licked if he reached in. There's a look of frustration on his face.]
But that would only work out if it means I was really dumb enough to reach into a real fire.
No one was even around... like I'd gone off on my own to do something really stupid.
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Are they really scars, then? Or burns?
Maybe the cloak was too important for you to lose. But I feel like most people would try to put out the fire instead of reaching into it.
It still sounds more like a metaphor to me. But you never know with Retrospec.
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[Baren offers up a smile at that, shaking his head.]
... just weird, you know? To get visions of a life like this one - but kinda different? I dunno. Chuu got one where I broke up with him without an explanation a few nights ago, too.
Sounds like I really might've been an idiot in the metaphor.
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[At this rate, Kouhei's brow is never going to be anything but slightly furrowed. A breakup dream sounds like a pretty normal dream, but more than anything, it has Kouhei wondering about what this "dream Baren" is like.]
Was the version of you in his dream similar to the one you saw in yours? Or was it just your normal self?